Protecting Against What We Can’t Parent Away: A Call to the Polls

As we transition back to school, let’s talk about the invisible mental load of parenting. All school year, we pack the nut-free lunches, we sign the permission slips, and we make sure our kids wear sneakers on gym day. We operate daily under the exhausting belief that if we just "parent hard enough," we can protect our children from every single threat in the world.

But recently I’ve had to face a tough truth: we cannot parent away a changing climate or a toxic environment.

The Day the Outside Broke In

I came face-to-face with this truth when my son came home from camp with a raspy cough, and eyes that were itchy, watery, and red. Seeing him struggling, I went into automatic doctor mom mode. I was certain I’d given him his allergy meds that morning and changed the air filters. I thought I was managing it…but it clearly wasn’t enough.

When I looked outside the next morning, I understood the cause. Our neighborhood was completely blanketed in the eerie, orange haze of wildfire smoke. We’d heard how bad it was in New York and that there was potential for us in the DMV to experience it too. But to see and smell thick smoke from hundreds of miles away was something else.

Seeing the effects of the wildfires on my son’s health solidified for me that we simply cannot parent our way out of a poor air quality day Wildfire smoke doesn't care about human constructs like borders, and no amount of my daily parenting hacks, no matter how hard I tried, could keep it out. I was painfully reminded that my protective power as a parent has its limits. I want to keep my son safe, I have to look past my front door.

Systemic Problems, Systemic Solutions

This isn't only about the air we breathe. It's about the invisible systems that support our children's daily lives. Take our drinking water: lead pipes are completely invisible to us, yet they deliver the water we cook with, bathe our children in, and put in their school water bottles.

When a child is exposed to water-related toxins, parents often default to self-blame: Did I buy the wrong water filter? Did I fail them?

Clean water isn't a luxury item that parents should have to purchase. The pipes beneath our streets are a public infrastructure system already purchased through our tax dollars. And who controls that infrastructure? The people we elect. Elected officials must pass public health policies that act like an "extra parent" protecting our kids. Yet, due to a lack of accountability and structural inequalities, this protection isn’t showing up equally for every ZIP code.

If we want to better protect our kids, we have to stop carrying individual guilt for systemic failures. Instead, we must connect what's happening at home with the larger systems we share. 

Lifting the Load: The Ultimate Question

The invisible mental load of parenting we carry isn't just made of micro-decisions around bedtimes and lunchboxes. It’s also weighed down by the paralyzing anxiety about whether the very air our children breathe and the water they drink are safe.

Trying to carry these massive, systemic failures as individual parenting challenges is what makes this load so unbearable. We cannot buy or organize our way out of a poisoned environment.

When we step into the voting booth, however, we have a chance to call for others to shoulder this burden. Voting is where we take our private worries and turn them into collective, visible power. We don't need a superhero to save our neighborhoods; we simply need our elected officials to do their jobs and carry their share of the load. After all, they work for us!

Our children suffer the acute consequences of environmental neglect, but they have no voice in the policies that shape their future.

Children can't vote, but you can.

Elected Officials Work for You

So, how do we bridge the gap between individual worry and public action?

Start by talking openly with other parents and caregivers about why we need to pay attention to whom we elect into office. These officials are the decision-makers who determine whether our children can safely drink from a school water fountain or play outside at recess.

And the next time you look at local candidates or speak to your representative, remember a simple truth: they work for you.

Put this direct question in your back pocket and ask them:

"When was the last time you talked about whether the water in your district is safe?"

Wait for them to answer. 

Let’s Keep the Conversation Going!

I am taking these invisible public health challenges and making them impossible to ignore. Because our kids deserve better.

Over the next few weeks, I’m breaking down eight real-world issues affecting our kids' health outlined in CEHN’s Voter Guide for Children's Environmental Health. Together, we are going to unpack this invisible mental load, issue by issue, and turn our parenting worries into actionable civic power.

Follow along on Instagram at @climatehealthequity or on YouTube at @BoundlessSurili, where I’ll be sharing bite-sized breakdowns of the voter guide, resources, and action steps you can take straight to the polls. See you in the comments!